BOATERS: YES WE CAN

Boaters: Yes We Can
By Barb Hansen
February 2009


Sour economic news comes in daily on the computer, and it pains me especially to learn of doors shutting and jobs lost in the boating industry. The boating "industry," in case you didn't know, does not consist of huge publicly-traded companies. Mostly it is many thousands of family-run companies.
The good news is that while the news may be bad for our industry now, I believe we will get the good news of a turnaround in boating before many other sectors. Why? Because boating companies are resilient. But, really, it's because boaters are resilient.
Think about it. We boaters are used to weather delays, saltwater showers, and even "meals" concocted from emergency rations in the almost-empty galley locker. We know how to "make do" when there's a hiccup in our plans.
And this economic hiccup – and that's what it is in the big scheme of things -- plays right into our strengths as boaters.
We are independent. Industrious. Efficient. That goes for our companies, too. They don’t need a bailout. They don't want a bailout. They are not sinking. What they need is something that we can give them. Our business.

We just need boaters to help boating firms, just like boaters help boaters in need at sea with a tow or a spare part, just like cruisers help cruisers by sharing food, water, fuel and free advice.

Boaters have always been a close-knit community and boating has always been an activity that brings families and friends closer together.

We boaters have come together during difficult times in the past. We can come together now.

Take a boating vacation. Go to dinner at your favorite dockside watering hole.
Don’t put off those boat repairs any longer. Call on your local boat mechanic or shipwright.
Visit your local marine retailer. Check out the latest in marine electronics, deck shoes or galley gear. Make a donation to your community’s junior sailing program.
Do it for yourself. But appreciate the fact that you are also helping the companies we boaters will need next year and the year after that.
This is a teaching moment, the perfect back-drop to teaching our kids about our world, our environment, self-sufficiency and personal responsibility. It's also an opportunity to remind ourselves that no man is an island, especially in our industry.

Because you know, deep down, that government can't do it. But, you can. We can.

SAVORING CRUISES

SAVORING CRUISES
By Barb Hansen
January 2009


Cooking is a lot like cruising, I’ve decided, and that’s a very good thing.

Between Thanksgiving and New Years I spent most of my non-office hours in the kitchen preparing yummy things for guests. Or, I was reading recipes of good things to make in the kitchen. Or, I was at the grocery getting the ingredients to make all those yummy things.

I have one rule about cooking – keep it simple. If a recipe contains ingredients I can’t pronounce or spices I’ve never heard of that dish will most likely not make it to my dinner table. The best recipe is one in my mother’s handwriting, a holiday treat that she would make at this time of the year for her young daughters and sometimes she’d let us help her.

The next best recipes for me come from the tried-and-true cookbooks, the ones with dog-eared pages or pages stiffened by an accidental smattering of egg whites.

Even when I was in the kitchen my mind wandered back to the office. Booking and planning cruises for our charter customers is what I do for a living as proprietor of Southwest Florida Yachts. And as I chopped and diced, mixed and poured, baked and broiled, it occurred to me the best recipes are like the best cruises.

When planning a cruise, instead of paging through cookbooks, I page through logs and charts, often with cryptic, handwritten notes that remind me of cruises past.

Keeping it simple is my tried-and-true recipe for a good cruise, too. One of the most important ingredients is a practical float plan, one that doesn’t take you too far for the time and energies of the passengers.

Consider the mix of individuals on board. Do they all have the same tastes in food and activities? In conversation topics? Jokes? Do they like to go to bed at about the same time and get up at the same time? Measure carefully here.

You don’t have to plan each and every stop along the way, but you should have a good idea where you want to go and how long it will take to get there. If you plan to dock or dine at marinas along the way, consider that you may need to make reservations in advance.

Even if the forecast is for perfect weather, plan for a dash of bad weather. You may or may not experience rain or rough seas, but if you are prepared for a possible weather delay or a change of course it will make for a more pleasant cruising experience. That’s where those books and games on board can come in handy. Be sure to stock extra provisions in case you don’t make that dockside dinner reservation.

For me, one of life’s satisfactions is cooking with my old dependables, pots and pans, knives and serving spoons that have been in my kitchen, like, forever. They are not the most expensive but they are good quality and have proved their worth ten times over.

Similarly, a good cruise doesn’t require a megayacht or the fanciest vessel. It just needs a boat that has been well-maintained and a few spare parts, just in case.

Like a good recipe, a good cruise should be topped off with something sweet to underscore the memory of a special cruising experience with the special people in your life. The very best sweeteners are unplanned like the joy of seeing dolphin surf your wake or a flaming meteorite brightening up the night sky.

Keep a cruising diary. Like your old recipes in familiar handwriting, it will be something you can savor for years to come.

SELECTING THE "PERFECT" BOAT

SELECTING THE 'PERFECT' BOAT
By Barb Hansen
December 2008


There are no perfect boats. Accept this. Get over it. Move on.

Not even your first boat, the one that floated in the bathtub, was perfect. However, it did get you hooked on boating and it got you thinking about your next boat. It would be, of course, the perfect boat.

After all these years and one or more vessels later, you are still engaged in that quest, aren't you? (Well, if not, you're not a boat owner. But if you intend to be, pay attention. You can go to school on the mistakes made by some people you will probably meet.)

Alas, there are no perfect boats and there are no perfect people, either. Combine the flawed ingredients of both parties in this strange matchmaking brew, and the prize moves elusively away. Perfection is not attainable on the water planet. But, the impossible dream persists.

Actually, I don't blame the boats as much as I blame boat owners. The problem, like the song says, is that we fall in love too easily; we fall in love too fast.

As I write this, we are smack in the middle of “Boat Show Season.” The fall shows have just concluded and winter and spring shows are on the horizon. Boat shows bring out not only lots of beautiful boats, but also lots of beautiful people. Now when the beautiful people see the beautiful boats, well something magical happens. There is excitement, flirting and, one suspects, much more -- love at first sight, short engagements, and quickly-arranged ceremonies.

How long will these marriages last before papers are filed?

Many do not know this but, at Southwest Florida Yachts, the captains and I have become marriage counselors, of a sort, for our charter clients. Many of our customers own boats but they like to charter, too. They come to us and they confide in us, saying unkind things about their boats back home.

At our yacht brokerage division, we also counsel prospective buyers. We talk to our clients about their budget, their boating skills, their maintenance expertise, and their long-range cruising plans. Sometimes we find that their “dream boat” doesn’t necessarily match the reality of their bank account, their skills, the yacht’s required maintenance or suitability for their future float plan.

The problems seem to fall into several categories.

We married in haste.
Too many boat owners purchased their boat before they knew what kind of boating they really want to do. Maybe they bought a day cruiser but they realized later they really wanted to do more overnight cruising. A variation of this are the owners who bought a big, complex boat before their skills (or their checkbooks) were up to the task. Boaters could avoid a lot of expense and trouble if they analyzed themselves before they analyze the boat. What do they say, marry in haste; repent in leisure?

We can't buy a new boat because we can't sell the old boat.
Marriage partners aren't supposed to plan their divorce before they get married, but we believe this is a good strategy for boat owners. Boats stay the same, but people always change. Once upon a time you liked to run with a fast crowd, now all you want to do is take a slow boat to nowhere. So, before you buy the fast boat, investigate the possibility that you'll want to sell it some day. When you do, will you quickly find a willing buyer for it? A couple of tips: Buy a well-known brand. Pay attention to local boating wisdom. Plan an exit strategy.

We are just too different.
This is the sad situation that occurs when the physical needs of your new vessel exceed your desire to attend to them. The boat cries out for constant attention: Clean me. Oil my teak. Please pay attention to me. You don't want to work; you want to cruise. Advice to the lovelorn: Don't count on friends to help. Hire somebody to pay attention to the boat. Or, sell it and charter instead.

We should have bought a ranch house.
They bought a double-decker or a triple-decker boat but the owners didn't realize how their legs would take a beating from climbing up and down those steps. Their vessel has many good years left, and so do the owners, but they need a boat with fewer ups and downs. Sell the two-story. Get a floating ranch house instead. A variation of this is the problem of the tall owner who refuses to duck when he goes through passageways designed for short people.

I just wanted to get a good night's sleep. She wanted to party.
This is where so many nautical marriages go bad. Right from the start, the parties are incompatible. You thought this vessel wanted to cruise slowly and comfortably. Instead, all she could do was get up on plane and go fast. Two suggestions: Take a long test ride before you buy. Talk to people who know you and know the boat.

If all else fails, don't give up on your love for boating. There's another boat out there, the perfect boat for you and yours.

Well, almost perfect.
---

BOATING: FOR A BRIGHTER VIEW OF LIFE

Boating: For a Brighter View of Life
By Barb Hansen
November 2008


You know something is not right when you say "Good morning" and the other person dourly answers, "I wish."

Why the negativity, I wonder. Well, if somebody has lost a job or a family member, I get it, but this person hasn't lost his job. He hasn't lost a family member. He has just bought into the malady that is sweeping the nation – gloom and doomitis.

Yes, the news of late has been rather depressing. The business slowdown, the rising cost of living, the loss of jobs… When you do the math it’s not a pretty picture. I don’t think there is any sector of our economy that has not been down except, perhaps, sales of antidepressants and alcoholic beverages.

I was recently reminded of the story of two young boys who were each put into a room where doctors could observe what made them happy. Billy was put in a room full of toys, games and candy while Jimmy was put into a room filled with horse manure. It wasn’t long before Billy had played with all the toys and games and had eaten all the candy. He started crying for more. Meanwhile, Jimmy was playing with the manure, making it into balls and tossing it all around the room. The doctors were astonished. Finally, they asked Billy why he was so happy in this room by himself. He said it was because he knew with that much manure in the room there had to be a pony around there somewhere!

Right now it’s hard to think about anything positive when we are surrounded by so much that is negative. When everything we read is bad news and everything we watch is bad news, it’s easy to just feel bad.

When I tell people that I’m in the yacht charter and yacht school business, the response is often wide-eyed like, “Wow,” or “How cool!” And it is, even when I'm dutifully at my desk and computer. But just about every week I try to get on the water on the boat. Even a short ride across the harbor in the sunshine and fresh air is good medicine for me.

I am not a real doctor but I sometimes play one in this column and this is my considered medical advice for our nation’s malaise. Go down to the water's edge and catch some sunshine. And if you really need a stronger dose, then my prescription is to get in a boat and push away from all of that land-based negativity.

Oh, sorry, I just can't, says Mr. Busy. There's no time, says Mrs. Hurry. I have things to do, places to go and people to see. There’s no time left for me.

Stop that.

Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Take this long weekend of opportunity to find the fair winds and calm seas of your mind amidst an ocean of worries and woes. Get out on the water if you can.

Perhaps a Thanksgiving weekend charter boat cruise? We often get calls from people who want to spend time on the water with family and friends for a special occasion such as an anniversary or a milestone birthday. There’s something celebratory about boating. Even in a season of doom and gloom, we have much to celebrate.

Marinas, I have observed, are like Billy and Jimmy’s play rooms. Some people need a big expensive yacht to make them happy and some boaters are happy with just a kayak or canoe. It’s not the vessel that determines their happiness; it’s what they experience with it that gives them pleasure.

My husband has always said, “If your head is on right, a tin cup can be a silver chalice. It’s all about how you look at life.”

Boating keeps our heads on right and lets us see the brighter side of our awesome world.

WILL BOATERS PLAY OR PAY?

Will Boaters Play or Pay?
By Barb Hansen
October 2008


When the going gets tough, the tough…go boating.

If we didn't already know that big banks were folding, we're reminded daily by bold headlines, shouting TV pundits and screen images from Washington showing our representatives wringing their collective hands.

Boaters always take bad news badly. Confronted by bad economic news, our instinct tells us to start wearing a frown and stop spending time on the boat. That's exactly wrong.

Yes, these are tough times but -- think about it -- now more than ever we need our boats to help us keep on an even keel emotionally and physically.

We've been down this road before. September 2001 comes to mind. Things looked pretty bleak. Remember how worried we were then about the future of our sport?

Well, as you know, things got better. They usually do.

In a column I wrote then I said if you were a citizen of the 1950s you lived in an economy still recovering from the great depression and a world war. Some made enough money to buy a wooden boat just right for a rented five horsepower kicker. Not bad in those days.

But the economy got even better. Fiberglass boats appeared. Outboard motors got bigger and fast enough even to water ski. Families traded in little boats for bigger boats. Cruising boats got bigger and more comfortable.

Then in the late 1970s gas prices soared because the oil-producing cartel cut back on production. It was so bad that President Carter said maybe boating should be banned on weekends. That's how politicians think.

In the 1980s our elected representatives, thinking that all boaters were rich and richer, put a 10 percent luxury tax on "yachts." A luxury tax, they called it. Boat plants closed. Thousands lost their jobs. What were the politicians thinking?

They finally repealed that stupid tax. And things got better.

These tough times will pass, too, and boating will have another long run in the sunshine.

We're already seeing a silver lining. The slowing economy has brought down gasoline and diesel prices.

Indeed, when people put a sharp pencil to the calculation they discover that boating is not nearly as expensive as they imagined and often it is less expensive than other recreational activities.

Vic and I are getting into the lets-go-cruising mood and making lists of friends we'd like to join us. In the past, we've taken many friends cruising and some got so hooked on it they bought boats, too.

As the media keep reminding us, times are tough and may be getting tougher. Okay. But that doesn't mean we should stop being with the people we love and stop doing the things that make our lives whole.

It's also better for boating businesses and for competition, which keeps prices low. Support your favorite marinas. Dine at your favorite waterfront restaurants.

We need the companies that make boats or charter them. Support them because, you know, the government will not. Only banks get that special treatment.

We boaters are going to pay. Let's not forget to play.

SUDDEN SENSORY DEPRIVATION

Sudden Sensory Deprivation
By Barb Hansen
September 2008


Are you feeling a little down now that the Olympic games are over and the TV networks have moved on to other programming?

You are not alone. Some of my charter customers have been telling me they are feeling depressed and, yes, are noticing their minds going in weird directions, too.

Judy R. reported that she loved to watch swimming champ Michael Phelps so she bought her husband an Olympics-style racing suit for him to wear when they went for a dip.

Heather W. said that ever since the TV coverage ended she scores every boat that passes by on nine-point-something scale. That trawler is a 9.6. This sailboat is a 9.3. That personal watercraft is a 2.1. And so on.

George W told me he has always unbuttoned his shirt to show off the gold chains around his neck when he's out for a spin in his go fast boat. Since the Olympics, though, he is thinking about melting his gold chains and making them into one, large, round pendant. He told me he might trade in his Donzi for a rowing hull and his button down shirt for neck-tight Under Armour. Is that weird or what?

See. You are not alone in your mental confusion, your suffering. Anecdotal evidence is mounting. We are dealing with a real medical condition.

Psychiatrists call it Sudden Olympics Sensory Anxiety Deprivation, or, SOSAD

Peer-reviewed literature suggests that SOSAD occurs when the brain is suddenly denied enhanced digital sensory images. The scientists explain it this way: Your brain has been focused exclusively on watching the world's best athletes in vivid high definition. Then, bam, just like that, it is taken away from you. However, to fill that void, your brain must somehow continue to stay engaged in the world even if the only thing to watch on TV is Larry King talking to Tyra Banks.

No wonder you're feeling depressed and despairing. Don't. There is hope for you to lose those heavy emotional chains and recapture the Eight-Gold-Medal Feeling you had watching the champion swimmers or, for others, the perky female gymnasts aged -- we hope -- 16 years or more.

Medical professionals have established a therapeutic program for SOSAD sufferers. They call it Solarium Aquarium Boatarium Regimentum.

It's not a pill and it doesn't require a prescription. It's just fancy medical profession talk for urging sufferers to change their physical location from indoors to outdoors, from land to water, from artificial light to sun light. And, yes, from a house or office to a boat.

Any boat, sail or power, will do. My clients confirm that equal measures of sun, water and boat cruising in a cool breeze feeds their senses and psyches with the natural medicines they need to feel right again.

Go out on a boat today. If you're still experiencing the symptoms of SOSAD, call me in the morning. No, on second thought, call me next week. I'm going cruising tomorrow.

MAKE TIME TO TAKE TIME

Making Time to Take Time
By Barb Hansen
August 2008


Time and tide wait for no man. Nor this woman. I'm not worried about the tides but, ladies and gentlemen I could sure use more time.

I know time can't give us more of itself. It flows regularly and inescapably forward. There is no turning back the clock or the calendar. I wag my finger and preach to people to make time to go cruising. But, I confess here, brothers and sisters I fail to live by the gospel of relaxation myself.

My Internet connection was out for several days recently.

I felt awful. I couldn't receive emails. Worse yet, I couldn’t answer the emails I couldn’t receive. Would my customers consider me rude or think that I viewed their messages as unimportant? I called on the cyber gods, and my IT guy to set me free.

I could have seen this unexpected lost connection as a welcome opportunity to rearrange my schedule so Vic and I could go on a short cruise. Or maybe we could take the day off just to go fishing. No, Barb, no, said the voice in my head. You must check things off of your to-do list and neither fishing nor cruising is on your to-do list today.

I’m not particularly fond of my to-do list; however, I manage to beg, borrow and steal time away from other things in order to accomplish those inexhaustible tasks. I have to get the car serviced, go to the dentist, send a card to so and so, register a boat, buy some office supplies, take the cat to the vet, take the dog to the groomer, pick up this, drop off that, and then get to the office. Hurry, Barb.

I live in a world of multi-tasking mania. Even a walk to the mailbox requires a stop to fill up the cat food, bag up the trash, and pull a weed or two. When we lived on our boat we didn’t even have a mailbox – or a cat or a yard for that matter. Ahhh, life was simple.

Don’t get me wrong. Both our home and our business are near and dear to my heart. Twenty years in our home and 25 years in business – where does the time go?

My Dad will turn 90 in September. “Time marches on,” he says. “Take time to smell the roses,” he preaches. He knows about time. I should listen.

Yet, there is much to do. My to-do list grows as quickly as my grass with the summer rains. For now, though it can wait. Slow down, Barb. There is time to cruise, fish, read and garden. I just have to make the time.

Wow, what is that flowery fragrance in the air?

CRUISE AWAY FROM YOUR CONCERNS

Cruise Away from Concerns
By Barb Hansen
July 2008


I tell our chartering cruisers to leave laptops and cell phones behind. But last month, when Vic and I and friends left Florida for our Alaskan inside passage cruise, what did I do? Yep. I hauled my laptop, cell phone and concerns along with me.

The bad news was my laptop and cell phone couldn't find a signal most of the time. The good news was my laptop and cell phone couldn't find a signal most of the time.

I have figured out there's a reward to hauling these devices around. They make us feel important. Our inner voices tell us, "The people in the office need me. They really need me." But there is a big downside to it – stress.

But aren't vacations, you know, supposed to be stress relievers?

I was a little antsy at first, not being connected, but I started to accept the situation. So as our 65-foot Malahide trawler ambled comfortably all the long days past the glorious scenery of Southeast Alaska, little by little I focused my attention on the relaxing reality of the here and now, not the unreal worry of what might be happening back at the office.

Even though we're in the yacht chartering business, and even though Southwest Florida is one of the most beautiful cruising areas in the world, I'd forgotten how relaxing it was to just go cruising. Work and other daily concerns just get in the way of taking time to enjoy it. Work, family, pets and house projects seem to take priority over a weekend cruise.

That's why I think vacations, to really work, require us to get out of town and to leave the you-know-whats turned off.

In addition to the majestic mountains and gorgeous glaciers that make up this part of the U.S. coastline, the wildlife was up close and very photogenic. Whales, sea lions, otters, seals, eagles and bears seemed to greet us at each new cove or provide at-anchorage entertainment after dinner.

Ah . . . the blood pressure goes down.

We fished, set out shrimp and crab traps, and dined on our fresh catch nearly every day. While onboard, I read four books about Alaska. I napped and slept like a child.

We have cruised Alaska on board this vessel in the past. It’s a classic, comfortable and sturdy 65-footer built of wood with a warm and inviting interior. A full-time captain and chef take care of navigation and nutrition. So very well.

I did have one electronic device onboard, my camera, but it helped my mind stay focused on the present. We covered more than 400 spectacular, panoramic miles at just the right shutter speed. If you want to see some, let me know. I'll email them to you.

We'll be going again next year. If you ever get that feeling that you need to "get away from it all" then you are welcome to join us. But: Turn off the cell phone. Leave the laptop behind.

By the way, those cushioned lounges they put out on the upper deck are wonderful for naps.

AUTOMATED VOICE MAIL SYSTEM HELL

Automated Voice Mail System Hell
By Barb Hansen
June 2008


The mind wanders when it's put on hold.

Who are they transferring me to? Should I have pressed three instead of one? Maybe I should have pressed six and listened to the options again.

Ten minutes and still holding. I'd better put this on speaker. I've got work to do. Too bad this is a government office. If I were calling to buy something, I'd hang up. Maybe I'll hang up anyway.

A sophisticated voice mail system may save money but it turns off customers. It turns off me. I have stopped doing business with more than one company because of the lack of personal customer service. I am not the first or only person to do this.

A real live friendly person answers our phone. That call, you know, could be from a customer.

I know that's not the modern way. If you call the customer service desk the modern way is a friendly but automated woman's voice – My, I have learned to hate that voice – asking if 239-656-1339 is the number I'm calling about. YES. YES. YES. I'm sorry, the voice replies, "I couldn't quite make that out."

ARRRGGGHHH.

Recently, while on hold, I started wondering what a voice mail system would sound like if we got one of those fancy answering systems for our offices.

Here's the first draft.

Press 1 if you want to charter a boat.

Press 2 if you want to take a sailing or power boating class.

Press 3 if you want to buy a sail or a power yacht.

Press 4 to confirm a reservation you have already made, but not to change the reservation or cancel it.

Press 5 if you want to change or cancel a reservation.

Press 6 if you want directions.

Press 7 if you want to know what to bring on the boat. Yes, you can bring your dog.

Press 8 if you want to learn about the cruising area. It's beautiful!

Press 9 if you want to sign up a child for our summer day camp.

Press 10 if you have a compliment for us.

Press 11 if you have a complaint. You will then be put on hold until you get tired and hang up.

Press 12 if you are a solicitor. You will then be put on hold until you get tired and hang up.

Press 13 if want to check on the weather. It’s beautiful. It’s always beautiful..

Press 14 if you just want to talk about boats because it’s cold up north and you have nothing else to do.

Press 15 if you are looking for a part for your boat that has been sitting in your backyard for 10 years. We don’t stock parts. No, we don't have that part. Yes, I'm sure.

Press 16 if your father who was the former President of Nigeria has died and you have 10 million dollars you want to deposit in our account. Wait times now exceed two hours.

Press 17 if you want to talk to the owner and you want to sell them interest in oil wells in Oklahoma.

Press 18 if you want to hear this menu of options again.

For all other calls, please press zero. I’m sorry, all lines are busy now. Your business is very important to us. Good-bye.

Is this working? Never mind. I know the answer.

We're going to keep the personal phone answering system we've had for 25 years, thank you. When you call any day of the week, from 0800 to 1700 hours, a real live person will answer. I know this is not the modern way of doing business, but my gut tells me it's better business.

WATER IS THE WILD BLUE YONDER

Water is the Wild Blue Wonder
By Barb Hansen
May 2008
Air travel advisory # 1: Don't.

If at all possible, take a boat instead. It may not get you there as fast, but it will surely be a much more comfortable and enjoyable trip.

Unfortunately there’s no fast boat to Washington, DC. So, on a recent trip I was forced to assume the knees-to-chest position for a couple of hours aloft each way.

Air travel advisory #2: While aloft (or in the security line) don't complain out loud.

Passengers can't hear you. They are plugged into earphones. Flight assistants are harried and just want to serve the soft drinks, pretzels and stale sandwiches. Remember when they served real food on real plate with real forks and knives?

It doesn't do any good to complain. You can decompress later and maybe vent a little, too, on a boat. Sound travels faster in the water anyway.

We travel in a world of “don’ts.” Don’t leave your car unattended. Don’t walk away from your bags. Don’t bring your own bottle of water. Don’t touch your carry-on when they are inspecting it.

Once upon a time there were no security lines, no threats and you could keep your shoes on prior to boarding. Once upon a time people used to bathe and put on decent clothes to fly. Today you're lucky if the person next to you is wearing shoes.

When one's husband is a private pilot, one would be well-advised not to complain about private planes. I'm sorry, but I fail to see the attraction in sitting white-knuckled in a small plane with nothing but space above and below.

There is something much more relaxing about cruising down the waterway with long sandy, secure beaches on either side. There are no take-offs, landings, seatbelts, and constant chatter in your ear. There’s no “Big Brother” on our boat. There’s no FAA, “Federal Aquatic Authority” for boating.

We can choose to maintain our vessels as we choose. Some boat owners may choose a lower standard of maintenance than others, but that is their choice. We can cruise where we want to and when we want to. There’s no “boating space” to ask permission to enter and exit. I can think of no other freedom we have that is quite like boating.

Airline travel is simply not fun. "Have a nice flight" is code for "I hope you get to where you're going."

Air travel advisory # 3. Don't fly. Cruise.

I'm not so sure about cruise ships or even megayachts but I do know that yacht cruising on a family-and-friends kind of yacht is the best way for the human spirit – this human spirit, anyway -- to become one with the water planet.

Serenity, thy name is relaxing in the breeze on the fly bridge of a trawler or sailing on a broad reach with a gentle breeze touching your face and a happy sun smiling on the scene.

There are no lines to get on board, no bags to check and no packing and unpacking once underway. There’s no waiting for a seatbelt light to go off so you can go to the bathroom.

There are no microwaveable meals aboard our boat. Fresh seafood and a chilled glass of wine await us on the aft deck. We take time to watch the sunrise and the sunset. Flying may be, as Air Force pilots sing, "the wild, blue yonder" but cruisers know that the ocean is the real wild, blue wonder.

A philosopher once said that mountain people are wise but ocean people are happy. Pleasant cruising.

BOATS VERSUS SNOW SKIS

Boats Versus Snow Skis
By Barb Hansen
April 2008

Vic and I have returned to Fort Myers from our annual Rocky Mountains skiing holiday. As usual, I welcomed our return to warmth, green grass, blue water and white boats nestled happily in their slips.

My sore back and knees also welcomed the opportunity to recover.

As usual after our ski trip and as I return to the duties of running our boat charter and liveaboard yacht school, I find my mind comparing skiing and cruising.

I see in skiers the same qualities that I admire so much in yacht cruisers. Skiers and cruisers challenge themselves physically and mentally. Both love the freedom of wide-open spaces. They appreciate the rewards to the mind and general well-being that come from a well-planned, well-lived vacation.

The scenery is spectacular and you feel on top of the world at 10,000 feet. Sea level scenery has its own psychological rewards like the feeling of oneness with nature you get when a pod of dolphins surfs your bow wave.

I really enjoy skiing but, for me, each new ski vacation seems to tilt the scales a bit toward cruising.

Consider the physical issue. Skiing takes its toll on a body. I used to blame muscle and joint soreness on the demands of runs like Death’s Door, Terminator and Hell’s Gate. But now we opt for ski runs called Wanderer, Lazy Days and Easy Does It. And, still, soreness sets in. What's next, the bunny slopes?

I don't know the average drop-out age of senior skiers but I have to think that back soreness, bad knees, faulty hearts and high blood pressure commonly become tipping points for telling your spouse, "Not this year, dear."

Neither boats nor skis can stop on a dime so both skippers and snow skiers are taught to give each other a wide berth for safety's sake. I think boating does a better job of teaching personal responsibility. This may be an apples and oranges comparison, but one more often sees accidents caused by another skier being out of control and I suspect that most skiers experience a close call daily. Some popular runs even assign the ski patrol to direct downhill traffic.

Cost is always a consideration.

If you and your family charter a boat, you'll pay a fee for the boat and a bill for stocking up at a grocery. You'll pay for an overnight marina slip or two but, to save money, you can anchor up for the night in a no-charge cove.

Fuel costs are generally reasonable. Sailors pay a pittance and motor-trawlers are especially miserly at the pump.

You outfit yourselves with clothes to stay warm and fashionable on and off the slopes. You rent or purchase skis, buy daily lift tickets and refuel yourselves at pricey on-mountain restaurants. You pay for condo/motel accommodations. Your cruising vessel, of course, includes your sleeping quarters and a galley. There's no charge for tickets to the daily dolphin show.

The going rate for skiing lessons is $100 per hour. If you require a boat captain to handle the vessel while you play, you can hire one at $200 a day.

It's just a guess but I would imagine that taking a family of five on a week-long ski vacation would lower the bank account by at least $10,000. Compare that to spending seven days aboard a "floating condo." Your fully-equipped trawler or motor yacht will cost half that.

Cruising gets the nod for operating temperatures. Here in Southwest Florida you'll not hear the word "layers" to describe boating outfits. On a boat we can cruise all week wearing the same pair of shorts and a few tee shirts. At the end of the week, the washing machine and its operator have an easier time of it.

By this time next year my aches and pains will have done away and I'm sure I'll be rejoining my fellow downhillers on the slopes.

In the meanwhile I welcome calls from all of you dyed-in-the-wool snow skiers interested in chartering a slow boat through our Florida paradise. That way you can do your own skiing-versus-cruising test.

You'll enjoy the change of pace and scenery, warmer temperatures and lower prices. Let me just add that it will be just the right cure for sore back and knees.

CONVERTING BOATING SPOUSES INTO BOATERS

Spousal Conversion
By Barb Hansen
March 2008

Boating industry poobahs (not me) had a meeting at the Miami Boat Show in February and I understand the hot topic was women.

It's not what you think.

My source told me the industry association described many things it was doing to promote the sale of more boats. They announced a new section on the website dedicated to spousal conversion.

Male and female laughter rippled through the room. One person was overheard telling a friend it would be nice to convert to an 18-year-old.

But the real point they were making is that boat sales have never been as good as they could be because many times the wife tells her husband "no."

I'm sure some women – and who can blame them – have been put off by that long and unfortunate habit in the boating tradition to assign the role of captain to the man and the role of first mate to the woman. That is a thing of the past. Good riddance.

But the main thing the marine marketing experts were saying is that many boat sales never occur because many women, married and single, lack confidence in their own boating abilities and also are apprehensive about boating safety issues.

I believe there's something to this.

I recently read the first person account of a woman who learned the hard way of the importance of training. This was written by Robin Freeman, Chief of the Department of Education of the Coast Guard Auxiliary:

“It was during one of our first few trips offshore that Rick asked me to stand by the wheel while he went aft to tie some fishing jigs. Suddenly I heard a gurgling, choking sound. I whipped around to find Rick doubled over, his face bright red! I feared it was a heart attack. Three horrible thoughts struck simultaneously: I don’t know where I am. . . I don’t know how to call for help. . . Please don’t die!”

It was not a heart attack. Her husband was choking on a piece of fishing line. He coughed it up and he was okay. But that didn't minimize this woman's feeling of helplessness while her husband gasped for air. And, in retrospect, she wished that she had learned how to operate the boat and use the marine radio before her scary incident.

That would have been before they started taking out the boat.

Boat sellers have been very good at selling the fun of boating. Now there is recognition that sometimes boat sellers need to adjust their sales focus to address safety and operation, especially among women, even to the point of offering boat courses.

Learning from a textbook won't cut it, in my opinion. Real learning and confidence only comes with hands-on instruction, in a boat. You can study it, but you also need to do it. That's what we do at Florida Sailing & Cruising School, our liveaboard yacht school.

Our instructors positively, absolutely do not assign the male to the helm and the woman to handle the dock lines. Each student, male and female, spends the time he or she needs to be proficient at all responsibilities – operating the vessel, navigating, docking, anchoring, communicating on the marine radio, even lighting the stove.

I hold this truth to be self-evident: The safest vessel will be the vessel on which everybody knows how to do everything. Sometimes the wife will be at the controls and the husband will be applying sunscreen to young faces and arms. And sometimes it will be the other way around.

Management consultants call this redundancy. I rather like spousal conversion.

CANDIDATES AT THE HELM

Candidates at the Helm
By Barb Hansen
February 2008


If you could choose a boat for each of the U.S. presidential candidates which type of boat would you choose for him or her?

I’ve always tilted toward presidents who, in my mind’s eye, are in a boat. George Washington crossing the frigid Delaware with his soldiers in the dead of night makes him a star forever in my imagination. Teddy Roosevelt paddling a canoe down racing rivers is a boating hero, too.

FDR planning D Day on the USS Sequoia is locked in my memory. JFK racing his PT109 is also. I remember seeing a picture in the newspaper of George Herbert Walker Bush holding up a striped bass caught from his Cigarette. I prefer to picture him as a naval aviator.

So what kinds of boats do you see our current candidates piloting, and does it look like they know what they are doing at the helm?

I know that at least two really are boaters. Mitt Romney and his sons were applauded a few years ago for jumping on their personal watercraft vessels and racing to the rescue of a family whose boat had swamped. I read that John Edwards, who was about to become John Kerry’s running mate, ran aground at night in his boat with a Kerry advisor aboard.

But other than that, what we see is what we get, and we gotta guess.

I know Sen. John McCain was in the U.S. Navy but he flew a fighter jet. Now in my mind he pilots a classic single engine trawler, his labor of love. Its name is Neversaydie.

Here comes a go-fast Scarab, black with red flames painted along the hull. There goes Rudy Giuliani. Was that a big gold chain around his neck or a gold necktie? This boat is called Flame Out.

Mike Huckabee has invited friends for a Sunday ride in his pontoon boat. They are tooling around Greer's Ferry Lake on a hot, Arkansas day, cooling off with lemonade.

I see Romney at the helm of a classic yacht with lots of varnished teak and polished brass. He buys his crew matching polo shirts embroidered with the name of the boat. The name on the stern is Capital Management. Cradles and davits hold a bevy of PWCs plus an inboard ski boat. All ready to launch and run on a whim.

I gather that John Edwards was able to tilt the lower unit up and power his boat off of that Carolina low country mud flat. The picture is kind of fuzzy but I think it’s a walkaround cuddy. The name on the side is not clear. Something like Class Warfare.

Barack Obama is in a Harvard rowing scull with a collegiate crew in matching shorts and polo shirts with cable-knit letter sweaters tied preppie style around their necks.

Hillary Clinton has hired a captain and a crew to take her here and there in a no-wood-whatsoever fiberglass motoryacht. Intercoms connect two master staterooms, one marked “Hill” and the other “Bill.”

I can’t help it. Ron Paul is rowing a dinghy with one oar. Dennis Kucinich is drifting in the main channel in an inflatable that’s losing air and he’s screaming Look at me! Look at me!

George Washington is still my captain.

NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION: LET'S GO BOATING!

New Year's Resolution: Let's go boating!
By Barb Hansen
January 2008

Making resolutions for the New Year is a good thing even when we don't always do what we say we're going to do.

Most important, it says we want to be better people. That is, we haven't given up on ourselves.

In this column, I went public with five boating resolutions for the New Year, 2002. To the extent that I did not succeed, I'll blame lack of time, not good intentions. To the extent that I succeeded, I'll credit the subject matter – boating.

I believe they are still good, for me, and hope my desires will rub off on you as well. Therefore, I hereby declare these remain my resolutions for the 2008 and I've changed the date accordingly.

1. We resolve to go boating more in 2008 than in 2007. Last year and in years before we sacrificed leisure time for work. This comes from a little voice in the head that keeps whispering work-before-pleasure, work-before-pleasure. It's hard to out-shout that voice because, alas, there's always more work to do. But, good news. Doctors say a well-balanced life must include leisure as well as work. Hopefully, our newly-balanced life will include more time on the boat. Thanks Doc.

2. We enjoy boating so much that we want others to have the same feeling. In 2008 I’ll ask our friends to join us on the boat more often. I read somewhere that if you take up an activity before the age of 15 years, you’re more likely to continue it as an adult. So, when we invite our friends to cruise with us, we’ll ask them to bring their children or grandchildren, too. In 2008, we resolve to introduce boating to more young people, both friends and clients alike. We want them to catch the boating bug, too.

3. We are in awe of Mother Nature. Where the water meets the sky and earth, she is a huge, felt presence – beautiful and inspiring: It's a privilege to see her sunrises and sunsets, no two the same; her birds of prey on the wing…or pecking their way across a sand bar. In 2008 I resolve to learn more about the things I see that give me such pleasure. I'll get out my bird book and learn all the varieties of shorebirds again. I'll try to identify each shell I pick up before I add it to my collection. We are in awe of all that surrounds us and we are lucky to live in such a beautiful part of the world.

4. Where we boat there are hundreds of small, uninhabited islands and when we cruise by them we sometimes wonder what they're like. The birds own most but others have untouched, inviting beaches and there's a rise to the ground that suggests to me that people lived there years ago. Maybe they left behind a tangible record of their lives -- arrowheads and pottery. In 2008 we will launch the dinghy more in search of the spectacular history of southwest Florida, from the Calusa Indians to the Cuban fishermen. Our Islands are rich in history. I plan to learn more of that history in 2008.

5. I love books and own a stack of award-winning novels, biographies and historical fiction unseen by my eyes. Birthdays, holidays and anniversaries come and go. I get new books; my stack gets taller. Our boat has a special place where a body can curl up and read a good book. I'll put my books on the boat. When we go cruising in 2008 I will read my books.

You may have noted in the wording above the use of the royal "we." Vic didn’t ask to be included in my resolutions but, as I read them over, I realize I've included him anyway. Oh well. Like a good meal and a nice bottle of wine, New Year's resolutions are better when you can share them with someone special.

BOATING IS THE BEST KIND OF HOLIDAY RUSH

Boating is the Best Kind of Holiday Rush
By Barb Hansen
December 2007


Vic and I did not join the elbowing crowds to save a buck or two at Circuit City on Black Friday. We do not need an interactive game console, thank you. We already have one. A boat.

I understand that playing computer games is a rush. But what kind of rush is it? Is it an adrenaline rush? If so, it doesn't sound healthy to me. It seems to me we all get enough stress in our lives without the need to produce it artificially.

Lots of things give us rushes but that doesn't make them good. Shopping till you drop is a rush for some people. It may also be unhealthy physically, not to mention financially.

How many times have we fallen victim to HSF (Holiday Shopping Frenzy) – finding the perfect gift for Aunt Harriett or Uncle George or the very latest and only the very latest fashionable $100 tennis shoes for Junior? You get the picture.

And then there are the parties, the hostess gifts and don't forget the mailman and the paperboy. Whew!

Every holiday season I find myself wishing that people would spend their hard-earned money on things that can really make a positive difference in their lives – yes, like boating. Maybe I'm wrong but it seems to me that playing World of Warcraft on your Xbox falls into the wrong category.

So what's the point? I would say that when we buy gifts for others and for ourselves maybe we should apply the "rush standard" to our decision. In other words, we should ask ourselves, "Will this purchase produce a healthy rush or an unhealthy rush?"

This brings me back to boating. I happen to think boating produces the healthiest rush of any diversion, especially including interactive computer games.

Like the game console you can buy at Circuit City or Best Buy, our boat console manipulates a visual display. Our console shows an ever-moving panorama of beautiful scenes framed by blue sky and blue-green water.

Like the electronic version, our game has a console with manipulating devices such as a steering wheel and throttles. (You could call them joysticks.) They make the visual display turn this way or that, and go slower or faster, forward or backward. For real.

Unlike the indoor game console, our outdoor console game supplies us with fresh air and rewards us with unexpectedly exhilarating sights such as dolphins surfing the bow wake or a family of manatees chewing on seagrasses.

Now, that's a rush.

FLOAT YOUR VACATION HOME

Float Your Vacation Home
By Barb Hansen
November 2007


I just opened my property tax bill. Yikes!

You've heard about Florida's sky-high property taxes? Alas, it's true. Tallahassee even called a special session to try to lower property taxes. State legislators (Motto: You shake the trees--We rake the leaves) don't get much practice lowering taxes so they're not very good at it.

I don’t know about you, but it seems that this year the cost of living has flown off the charts. It's not only higher property taxes and insurance rates, it's the electric bill and the weekly trip to the grocery store where the bottom line on the register receipt looks like the national debt.

Even the airlines are rubbing salt into our checkbook wounds. When you try to book a flight with your frequent flyer miles, they tell you there are no seats available. ("But, sir, I'm calling for reservations two years from now.")

It's the high property taxes that rankle the most. Which brings me to the point of this essay.

The best home deal in the state of Florida is probably a boat.

Think about it. Liveaboard boat owners don't pay property taxes. They pay a monthly fee to the marina to keep the boat in the slip and to stay hooked up to fresh water and electric. That's just about it.

Please promise me you will not tell our elected officials. If you do, sure as shooting they will raise taxes on boats and marine services. Does anybody remember the disastrous consequences of the Luxury Tax?

Richard and Suzy Koths live in Michigan but their second home is a 42-foot boat in Florida. They keep Final Sea-Lection with the Southwest Florida Yachts charter fleet and live on it when they visit. When the Koths retire, they'll already have their winter home at a marina where the water never freezes. Putting their vessel in the charter fleet even helps pay for their home away from home.

Liveaboard vessels also make great vacation rental homes for a week or so. They are certainly a lot less expensive than those resorts where every meal comes with a big bill and a wait person who seems to like to say "great choice" and "awesome."

You'll keep reaching deep to tip the pool boy and pay for the beach cabana and kids' activities. And don't forget the extras you discover on the final bill which they slip under your door while you're sleeping.

There is no pool boy to tip on a charter boat. You can cook aboard, fish, read or putt-putt the dinghy over to a deserted key so the kids can hunt for treasure. If you feel like it, you can put out a line, catch a fish and cook it for dinner.

But the biggest advantage to living aboard and vacationing aboard may be the fact that every day your vessel brings you at least two of the essentials of a satisfying life – rest and relaxation. Some would add another of life's essentials – romance – to this list.

Come to think of it, when you're on a boat two more necessities of life, sleep and sustenance, seem more satisfying than ever. Even peanut butter and jelly sandwiches taste especially good when you and yours are up on the fly bridge with wind and smiles on your faces.

FLORIDA'S FOUR SEASONS

Florida’s Four Seasons
By Barb Hansen
October 2007


Did you hear the one about the Midwest tourist couple talking about Florida’s weather?

The husband says, “Wow, the seasons never seem to change in Florida!” His wife answers, “Of course they change; Florida has a ‘high’ season and a ‘low’ season!”

While that line might bring on a chuckle, it’s not quite accurate. As a native Florida cracker who spent about 20 years in the Midwest, I can tell you that I feel the change of seasons in the Sunshine State just as much as I did back in Indiana.

Florida does have four seasons and that’s in addition to the seasons of mating love bugs and early bird dinner specials. The temperature differential may not be as dramatic in Fort Myers as it is in Fort Wayne, but signs of seasonal change are just as unmistakable if you are tuned in to the sights and sounds of the tropics.

Summer arrives with the first thunderstorm and the “full moon in June” as the saying goes. Shy cereus cactus flowers make their one-night-only appearances in June. Summer mornings are clear and clouds build throughout the day. On the water, the tarpon are rolling and a fishing frenzy ensues in the waters of Southwest Florida.

Summer is relaxing on the flybridge, in the shade of a Bimini, with a cool drink in hand, watching a pod of dolphins circle in on their fresh fish entrée.

The full moon in late September this year was as big and as beautiful as it can be and it was accompanied by the most delicious breeze from the north, a harbinger of a well-deserved, cooler weather for those of us who live in this tropical paradise. Now, for at least nine months more, the climate will be exceptionally good here in Southwest Florida.

Winter is wonderful, of course. I think of it as the season of roseate spoonbills, herons, egrets and wood storks feeding on a mud flat at low tide. Natives get chilly sometimes but those who know how cold it gets in other climes are comfortable and so grateful they are not shoveling snow. Personally, I like a wind chill of 75 degrees and break out the winter jacket when the temperature drops into the 60’s.

By late March, the cold fronts seem to lose their punch and the flora and fauna of spring emerge. April and May are a special time of the year when tired, tiny tanagers and warblers hitch rides and a rest on your boat railing before flitting off in search of a berry tree on Sanibel Island. Our eyes and noses delight in the flowering trees -- fragrant yellow frangipani, fire-red poinciana, lavender-blue jacaranda.

I love it here in Southwest Florida, as you can tell. Still, I’ve come to the point of view that no one place is perfect unless we make it so. I like to read and when I’m wrapped up in a great novel I don't care where I am so long as the chair’s comfortable. In fact, if it were snowing outside and I was close to a crackling fire, that would be just dandy.

But dyed in the wool boaters logically migrate toward Florida (and they will leave their woolens behind). Snow skiers probably want to be close to the Rockies, High Sierras, or the Cascades. Surfers prefer the Pacific. We have traveled to all of those places and beyond, but as Dorothy said, “There’s no place like home.”

So maybe no one place is perfect but, like those snowbirds on the yacht pulpit, we can fly to some other place and suit our changing weather whims.

Whatever the season, Florida suits me just fine.