GETTING OVER ROMEO

By Barb Hansen
August 2009


"What's in a name?"

Actually, Juliet, a lot. If it's the name on a boat, you already know something about the man at the wheel. Some are funny. Some are sweet. And some – can we talk? – are recovering from addiction or, worse, they are still chained to their self-medications.

A rose by any name would smell as sweet but, honey, I'm telling you, you do not want to share cockpit air with the owners of Beeracuda or Sir Osis of the River. A plague on both their houses.

Nor do you want to be the soul mate of a guy who skippers Blew Too Much.

You do not want to date the skipper of Eat Drink and Re-marry. If you cruise with the owner of Sin or Swim, I hope you can swim. I am not giving you a pass to date the boys aboard Stocks and Blonds, Knotty Buoy, Making Luff and Sail Bad the Sinner.

However, I don't think I'm over stepping the bounds of modesty to suggest that you can spend quality time with the guy on Say Maybe.

Boat names have always fascinated me. I have seen a bunch in a quarter-century of watching boats come and go at Marinatown Marina in N. Fort Myers, home to our charter fleet. This I believe: The name on the boat goes with the name of the skipper. Positively. Absolutely.

I have not met the skippers of Bow Movement and Helmroid but I already know what is on their minds and other areas of their anatomy.

What got me thinking about boat names was the annual news release from the BoatUS with its Top Ten List of Most Popular Boat Names. You'll recognize some of them as carryovers from the year before. And the year before that. And the year before that.

You do not want to cruise on one of these boats, in my opinion. The kind description of the owner is that he recognized a clever boat name. The not so kind description is that he is a copycat. Seas the Day tops the list this year. Oh so clever. Not.

At one time or another, all of the runner-ups have made the list, I'm pretty sure: Summer Daze, Second Chance, Aqua-Holic, Wind Seeker, Dream Weaver, Black Pearl, Hydrotherapy, The Salt Shaker, Sea Quest. I think I'll take a nap now.

I'm all for boating. You know that. But, Juliet, don't spend time with the boater who can't manage his money. These are the guys whose boats have names like Lackamoolah, A-Loan Again, and What College Fund?

Just between us girls, to help you get over Romeo, may I recommend some men whose cruising company you will enjoy.

You'll relax and laugh on Ahoy Vey, A One Anna Tuna, Oh Buoy, Oh Buoy, and Snap Shackle & Pop.

If you like blue water fishing spend some time on Marlin Monroe. However, if the angler drinks Marilyn Merlot it could be a sign that he can't get on with his life. There's a lesson in that.

I'm betting you'll feel special cruising with the guy who named his boat Sea Weedy Pie.

But, look. You're in no rush to get married. Those who go fast, you know, stumble. So cruise slowly with your guy on one of the just-for-two boats in our charter fleet. I recommend the good boat Patience.

Should true love blossom, and I hope it does, you and your helmsman should shop for a vessel suited for happily-ever-after cruising for the two of you and, infrequently, your in-laws.

Please let him name it JULIET.